Mattalaine Ayanna, Warrior of The Light

Mattalaine.

I’ll settle for just Mattie,

especially when the ‘a’ goes on vacation

every time someone tries to say the whole thing.

It’s not Madeline,  

or Madelyn,

or Matilda, Madison, Miranda, Mandy, Massachusetts.

Just Mattie.

Of course, my family and best friends

have an extensive, yet cherished, list of nicknames for me:

Mattat, Mattiepoo, Brattalaine, Bratty Mattie,

Mattie loo, Poochipoo, Mattalainey, Chalupa, and more.

Then there’s the occasional, “Mattalaine Ayanna!”

That one’s not so warm and welcoming.

It’s a whip cracking through the air.

When I hear it, creeping towards me like a cat ready to pounce,

I find myself dolefully slipping through the halls

and sliding down the stairs to my impending doom.

Those two words can seem like the bane of my existence.

Anywho,

those within my tightknit group of friends know I am

Rambunctious, spazzy, dramatic, affectionate, caring.

Others see me as a little lost puppy.

I may be shy at first, and my stage fright is horrendous,

but that is not me.

Maybe someday, when people hear my name,

“Mattie,”

they’ll think of a fun-loving girl,

loud

exciting,

trustworthy,

comforting.

An unbelievable sense of humor.

That’s who I am.

That’s what I want others to see.

Getting me out of my shell isn’t so difficult,

but one day I’ll be able to walk up to anyone,

Say, “Hiya!” with no trouble.

Stand in front of the class and let the words

flow from my lips without hesitation or discomfort.

Be myself.

I know I can do it,

and so does everyone else.

Why?

Because I am a warrior of the light.